What the papers say…..

Paul Burston – Time Out
"…Whether you are looking for love, or just the chance to expand your social horizons, I can’t think of a better way to start…’’
The biggest misconception about dining clubs is that the people who attend them are all social snobs and complete closet cases to boot. In fact you’d find just as many men fitting this description in your local gay bar. OUT & OUT more than lived up to it’s reputation for bringing men together from all walks of life. There were lawyers, doctors, accountants, someone who worked at the Royal Court, a ballet dancer, even a bona fide butler. Everyone was extremely friendly. Only one person I spoke to felt the need to keep his sexuality a secret at work. Dinners are held several times a month, and guests carefully selected according to their age group, occupation and range of interests. The night I attended there were 26 people in total, sat in groups of five or six.
Out & Out works out rather cheaper (than other clubs) and has one distinct advantage. Because the groups are larger it is possible to book an entire restaurant for the evening. It’s not that I mind watching straight people eat. It’s just that sometimes you can be put off by potential homophobes eavesdropping on your conversation.
That for me is what makes Gay dining clubs such a refreshing alternative to the pub and club scene. People actually talk to each other, without anyone mentioning the chances of a quick blow job in the loos. Whether you are looking for love, or just the chance to expand your social horizons, I can’t think of a better way to start.

Nigel Wilson – Metro Magazine (Evening Standard)

"….the organisers go out of their way to introduce like-minded people…’’

Dating agencies put the fear of God into me, and I’m equally aware that there’s a whole load of guys out there for whom the thought of standing waiting for their man provokes horror. For us then, there is Out & Out, a dining club with a difference. All the members are gay and they don’t just dine, they go to the theatre, dance til they’re dizzy at their annual boat party and throw fantastic summer balls. The organisers go out of their way to introduce members to like-minded people, but there’s also an emphasis on making friends and having a good time. This weekend they’re organising a cocktail party on Saturday and a roast on Sunday. Phone to join!

Viv Buzi – What’s On magazine

"…the common denominator is intelligence, those who enjoy a dinner party atmosphere as opposed to posing and cruising….’’

Viv Buzi meets ‘’professional fag hag’’ Julia Melinek of Out & Out……..

Every so often I wonder exactly who in the gay community reclaimed pejorative words such as ‘queer’ and ‘dyke’. If that awful phrase ‘fag hag’ is ever to be reclaimed I can tell you now that the woman who made it respectable is the disarmingly charming and truly scrumptious Julia Melinek. Eleven years ago, opera singer Julia (she’s sung Madam Butterfly for English National Opera) and fellow warbler, Mark Glanville (more recently the author of best – selling book The Goldberg Variations) realised that they were so good at organising dinner parties for gay colleagues that they might as well do it professionally. As Out & Out, they booked a stand at a Gay lifestyle exhibition at Earl’s Court and pretty much became an instant success. Today they’re the biggest dining club in the UK, with a membership that sometimes hits a thousand.

How did they do it? Professional fag hag (it’s her description) Julia reckons that, as far as social skills are concerned, ‘’you’re born that way.’’ But she likens her table – hopping duties at Out & Out functions to those of the circus plate spinner, forever dashing to give the plate at the end another twirl. Having seen her in action, I can confirm that, like the guy with the plates, she performs apparently effortlessly. But what is it with Julia and gay men? ‘’There’s a special relationship between straight women and gay men,’’ she explains. ‘’It’s like the girlie friendship, opposite sexes getting on with each other without the sexual tension.’’ The personal touch extends to communications with the Out & Out office. There are no mail-shots. Julia and Mark can spend eight hours a day on the phone, telling members about upcoming lunches and dinners, plus other events including theatre visits, foreign trips and boat cruises.

But, ultimately, is it all about sex? Surprisingly, no. ‘’It’s far less a sexual thing than the scene,’’ says Julia. I accepted an invitation to the gallery bar of the Cross Keys, a beautiful old pub in Chelsea, where Out & Out celebrated Valentine’s Day. The mix of men was much as Julia had described, all ages, classes and races, but ‘’the common denominator is intelligence, those who enjoy a dinner party atmosphere as opposed to posing and cruising.’’

After a 17 year relationship broke up, lawyer David T found it very difficult to ‘’let loose’’ again. ‘’In the bars I was very conscious of being older,’’ he told me, ‘’but here, as you can see, the age range is very wide.’’ At Out & Out he has made a lot of friends, some men he now sees independently. What about romance? None as yet. David feels that Out & Out is primarily a social group. But then I met David L and William R who have been together for three years after meeting at an Out & Out function. ‘’Jules is very good at judging,‘’ said David. ‘’She sits people next to each other if she thinks they’re going to get on. With us, she got it right.’’

Now David is trying to get William to County Hall! ‘’We’ll invite Mark and Jules,’’ David promised.

Refresh magazine

‘’The perfect place to find new friends, develop good business contacts or just relax in good company. ‘’

Out & Out organise a wide variety of social gatherings, with carefully compiled guest lists and table plans. Experienced party planners, who are trained to ensure that members are made to feel welcome at each gathering, host all their events. Events include dinner parties, opera evenings, charity fund raisers and boat parties. Members range from 21 – 75, although Out & Out does try to ensure that you are placed with people of your own age. This is the perfect environment in which to broaden your social horizons at a reasonable cost.

Hugo Greenhalgh Pride 97 magazine

It’s not all bad news on the Gay singles scene (if you’re male that is). Established in 1993 by self confessed fag hag, Jules, the OUT & OUT dining club aims to provide an alternative meeting place for professional Gay men.’’I just loved throwing dinner parties’’ she says with evident enthusiasm ‘’and I realised that most of my guests were gay men who told me how much they enjoyed coming along, and more importantly, how it was a great way to meet people.’’ There is an annual membership fee and each dinner costs around £40 – but if you’re looking for love then go for that cheque book.
Nicholas,36, and works in law, is only one of Out & Out’s many success stories. ‘’I didn’t particularly like the gay scene, so I went along to Out & Out with no expectations whatsoever. It’s a bit like being at a wedding. You’re plonked at a table with eight or nine others, introduced to them and left to get on with it. When I first met my eventual partner, I didn’t actually like him at first! But we got talking and ended up swapping numbers. We met for dinner a few nights later, then he came over for Sunday lunch, and then gradually things began to happen. It was very romantic.’’ Romantic. That’s what we want!

(Nicholas and partner are still very happily together, six years on!)

Scene Update

‘’….Get in touch, and you never know, you could find love while having a brilliant time of it!…’’

Are you fed up trying to meet new people out on the scene? Are one night stands getting you down and you’re looking for something a little bit more long term, a little bit more intimate? We’ve got the answer…..
Agencies might have a rather tarnished reputation – only saddos need to use them to meet people, it leads to awkward, unnatural scenarios etc. etc. – but you should question this before accepting it blindfold. The reason they exist per se is because they can offer a very valid service. The club (Out & Out) has a diverse age range, and people from all walks of life, from builders to bankers, linguists to lawyers. Out & Out organise their own events, taking over entire restaurants or private clubs, going on champagne picnics or private boat charters. Sounds good doesn’t it?….Get in touch, and you never know, you could find love while having a brilliant time of it!

Pink Paper

‘’…. Mixing two of life’s great pleasures, men and food, it aims to stretch the boundaries of the scene with a bit of chat….’’

Professional opera singer Jules Melinek who recently sang the title role in English National Opera’s Madam Butterfly explains why she set up the private members club Out and Out and became a social butterfly.

FINE DINING, FINE TIMES
ISSUE 892 – 26 JANUARY 2006
““It’s an exciting time for Out and Out. We’ve been asked to organise our first wedding and several other couples have also approached us about this – as they met through our club.

“We’re not really a dating agency, we’re a place where intelligent guys can meet and chat. I never set out to make a business out of it. The club just started with my friends moaning about never being able to meet anyone ‘normal’.

“I decided to introduce my friends to one another and hired out a room in a restaurant. It was so popular the business started from there. Most of our 700 members are London-based but we have two guys from Dublin who regularly fly over for our events and also have members in Poland and Italy.

“Out and Out holds around 50 or 60 events a year but we don’t invite everybody to every event. When members join we interview them to find out about their interests and the sort of people they would like to meet. So each event is tailored around members.

“For example, if you had a 25-year-old guy who wanted to meet people the same age we would invite him to events with guys under the age of 30. We even work out seating plans to put members who we believe will get on well next to one another.”

If you’re not too impressed with the club scene and fancy indulging in something more substantial, the Out & Out dining club in London could be the answer. Mixing two of life’s great pleasures, men and food, it aims to stretch the boundaries of the scene with a bit of chat and date mentality…
The group meets weekly at a top London restaurant chosen for its food and ambience, where like-minded men are carefully sat next to one another. Despite this preordained seating plan, the organisers discourage the cliquiness that haunts many social groups. The club also holds special one off outings…..Socialising has never seemed so civilised.

We have also been featured

on Gaytime TV, Kilroy,

Esther, Talk Radiodrink